Just keep Swimming

I can't believe it's 2013 already.
I've been struggling a lot these last few months.
December January & February were BUSY BUSY BUSY with animal rescue work it's quietened down now & I've actually made a decision to step away from it.
Lots has happened one main thing is my struggle with keeping it together.
I've spent more time in bed than I care to reveal & getting out takes more energy & effort than I care or can make.
When my Dar mum first died I was relieved for her & for me.
I was worn out with not getting enough sleep & just emotionally drained.
Poor mum was miserable & it was awful to watch.
The first 6 months I just carried on, I slept relaxed & done all the things I wasn't ale to for so long. Now the grief of missing mum has hit me & it's hard.
Really you would think I knew how to walk this road but it appears grief can be different for different people.
I miss being someone's daughter
I miss my mum unconditional love
I miss knowing that someone loved me for me.
What's hard is I need to keep swimming keep trudging through life & pretend I like it.

Our circumstances have greatly changed this year & I HAVE to go back to work or we will starve, I personally could do with the shedding of 30 kilos but my wispy girls need to eat:)
But it appears in unemployable YEP being a SAHM for 29 yrs means nothing except to me & my Darlings.
I'm pissed really pissed at the way I'm viewed.
I'm smart clever well presented & a FREAKING hard worker but no one will even give me a chance.
Anyone onwards I go & I hope to regularly blog more, regularly I mean more than once every 6 months:)
Gab xxxxx